have you ever had the feeling of being taken granted for all the time? its like everyone expects you to do something but there's no sign of gratitude, appreciation or anything. to top it off, they show you negative response and all. im so sick of it all. its like arghh nobody ever understands. im not obliged to do anything for you. i've had enough!
on a happier note, week10 is over and so is majority of my deadlines!a mad rush week indeed which made me grew alot!many sleepless nights and all but im really glad i survived it all. monday was a really traumatic experience whereby my family got into a car accident. the sudden thought of possibly losing the closest ones in my life made me really terrified. the thought of losing them really jolted me awake. im glad that at least they're not in any life-threatening situation now and i should really count my blessings. i definitely wouldnt know what to do without them in my life. it made me realise that im really fortunate and never ever to take them for granted again!its a rare second chance i got and im definitely gonna cherish it.
so monday was an awakening experience for me. spending the night in the hospital with my sister, made me realise how fragile life is and how important my family is to me. grades, friends, assignments and all simply do not matter anymore. my brother was right about how family should always be our top priority because they're the ones who stand by you no matter what. seeing how my dad being strong and all for the sake of the family really touched me greatly. first time i saw the soft side of my dad, that expression made me teared. and my mum who told me that i have to be strong because im the pillar of support for them. it really made me alot stronger and knowing that i played an important role in the family. it really seems as though ive grown so much within such a short time. but in short,
i love my family (:
yupyup then the mad rush of completing acc presentation, dsc term report, cv, mkt assignment and mno video. i was surprised by the amount of energy i had in completing all these. consecutive sleepless nights and all. i just hope the results will show. but i guess after being through so much more, all these doesnt matter anymore.
hmmm okay then the long overdue photos from yc's birthday celebration! (: HAPPY 19th DEAR YEECHIAN! thankyou for everything my dear friend. <33
our special private cabin just for you! (:
the unplanned traffic light!
how adorable! (:
GAHHH!
inside flyer with the birthday girl!may your dreams soar up high with the flyer!
yup okayy its 4 weeks to embRACE, 2 weeks to facils training and so many things undone. someone please save me from all this never-ending work.
haha i realise i sound so angsty over the last few posts heh. anyway yayy i got my new laptop! (: teeheee thanks loads my dear daddy and mummy!love you many many!haha ohwell i guess its been really overwhelming these days, having to cope with so many deadlines and all. but yayy its gonna be over soon. the killer week 10 is coming hahaha sounds like killer whale heh. hmmm but what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger so im sure i'll be able to get round those 5 deadlines for next week!gahhh dsc haha better start reading already!and though acc was quite a flop, im sure gonna start mugging for it alr after the killer whale swims past!haha i sound so optimistic suddenly but gahh im soo tired haha. the only thing that makes me satisfied about myself is my driving hoho im getting much much better at it though i get anal instructors somtimes like lpk!haha chionging driving 5 days a week is no joke okayyy!and my tuesdays are like packed with driving how enthu i am right haha!okayy yayy hopefully i wont hit curbs again haha!at this point in time, im really thankful i have my organiser to keep all my appointments on track. otherwise i think i'll just die!haha okayy random post but yayy im feeling so much more optimistic now! (: jiayou sg!hahaha and though you might not see this, HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUAA! hahah my favourite nuaworm in the world,you totally rock! (:
maybe i'm just expecting too much, of others and myself. getting frustrated because everyone's just so wishy washy and like no one can perform up to my expectations. maybe i'm just a perfectionist, an idealist. i probably cant expect everyone to do things the same way as me. commitment, responsibility, enthusiasm. i have a feeling that i cant cope with this anymore. its like no one else knows what to do when im away and stuff like that.it gets frustrating because this responsibility doesnt just lie with me. it's supposed to be everyone's effort but why dont i see it at all?maybe im just too tired from this long journey. we have come thus far and i hope our efforts will pay off. is that too much to ask for?
and does anyone know it gets tiring to always be the initiator but everyone's response is like ): i hate people who are wishy washy. it gets on my nerves because why cant they just be abit more decisive and make things much easier!does anyone know that its not easy at all?and its seriously exhausting. pfftt!
rarr and because of you, plans have to be changed to accommodate you when you dont even try to make sure everyone can turn up for the ones you organise. rarr im so irritated. its like they're just so not appreciative at all! i just cant stand this taken-for-granted feeling. maybe im comparing them with my good old friends. it just feels different. like in the past, there was all the genuine concern and bonding.but now, i feel that its just a way to pass time.few similar interests, topics etc. maybe we're friends because we have similar timetable.
crowded but alone.im feeling the apathy now. grrrr.this sucks.or maybe my attitude has changed ever since i came uni. i need more time to myself and i dont feel like socialising that much alr. arghh okayy i feel like a lousy friend because im always not there for others.
but i guess after going through so much, you finally realise who are the ones who will stick through thick and thin. they are the ones who'll be there for you through your roller-coaster ride of emotions. they are the ones who can tolerate your nonsense without bearing grudges. they are the ones who are willing to sacrifice their everything for you. they are the ones who care for you genuinely. they are the ones who make sure your life isnt as screwed up as it seems. they are the guardian angels, they are
my dear family.and this makes me feel even more guilty because i have always taken them for granted, neglecting them and all. thank you for standing by me no matter what.
i have my share of shitty days but you made me smile (:
GAHHH!
inside flyer with the birthday girl!may your dreams soar up high with the flyer!