The Last Ride
Friday, April 25, 2008
ohwell this has been a really hectic week for me.having to pack lots of things bahh and im not even halfway through yet shit. and liaison stuffs and rarr work. work has been super tiring and taxing that i havent been able to last for long after reaching home. sucks and im always in this auto pilot mode. their exams are coming and i have to rush through alot of things and give them individual talks etc in order to make sure they're working hard for exams. lots of scolding and stuff and ohwell i see at least one of my students crying everyday after getting scolded by me. bahh hate this man.

and its simply ouch when i hear news of it. having to give up sth that ive been pursuing for so long. and i really regret not taking a shot at it. ive condemned myself even before anything else. and watching hh has reminded me of my longtime passion, of what ive been after for so long. it really hurts to give up sth you've worked for so long, sth that has been your passion for so long. i really really regret it but there's nothing i can do now. there's always this side of me saying that i have hope but then the rational part of me would oppose it. i really miss those simple days of being able to pursue your interest. ive kinda given up on all things now i guess. there isnt this drive in me anymore. i just hope im doing the right thing.

ohwell and work this week is like rarr!stupid xxxxxxx and his parents were like driving me crazy!all those stupid excuses like i cant scold other kids cos i'll scare their darling little boy. rarr stupid i dont see how this works at all when their parents are not even complaining about it. okayy i really hope its settled and not like all the previous episodes. and this sucks i feel so grumpy cos ive been scolding them so often when i dont even feel like doing so!and my voice is like arghh going to die soon. bahh!

hahah anyway i have been meeting 2 weirddd ppl that are like seriously annoyinnggg. they are like super rude and ohwell i really dunno what to say about them!
incident 1: was helping out nic leong cos the both of them were only looking after wj (hello like 2 to 1?). then they decided to come and interfere and one of them made nic cry and he ended up doing his work slower than usual. so i helped him cut out the shapes and everything. then the both of them realised that they should help out instead of posing there so one decided to take a pair of scissors. then the weirdness begins. i put down my pair of scissors to write down the grouping of the shapes and ALMOST IMMEDIATELY after i put down the scissors, another one of the pair QUICKLY SNATCHED it away together with the piece of paper i was cutting and PRETENDED she was doing sth. like seriously WOW!so i threw her that irritated/huh/what-on-earth-are-you-doing/dirty look and she was still unrepentant!rarrr qi si wo le!
incident 2: was reading the cover page of newspaper and the one of them walked past and started talking to me.but i was still looking down at the newspaper cos i couldnt be bothered with what she's saying cos its most probably gonna be repeated again for like more than 5 times anyway. SO she decided to read newspaper too and STRANGELY ENOUGH,she took away the one that im reading!!like hello wth!?!?!so again,i threw her the dirty/pissed/highly annoyed/irritated look but rarr another weirdly unrepentant one!
i seriously dont understand how the minds of these ppl work. how can they ever be so insensitive and inconsiderate rarrr!pissed!this has indeed been my super pissed off week!


hahah but ohwell madl really touched me ytd. her first time going home by herself and right before going home, she came and told me she's really very scared. so i decided to go to the bus stop with her and wait for the bus with her as well. and she was almost close to tears. and then she came to me today in her very shy way, saying thankyou to me. simple act but it really touched me. and she said sth that really got me thinking. "if only ppl in this world have their character written on their forehead such that the good ones will have the word good, while the bad guys will bear the word bad on their forehead.that would make things much simpler." at such a tender age and they actually know the hidden evil in the world outside. i realised that ive been living in a very sheltered life. not knowing all these till i stepped into the working world and having to tolerate so much nonsense now. its really a very different childhood they all have now. and i really miss mine...

how i wish there's a second chance. and if possible, a second life too. i want to relive everything again and make all these life-changing decisions all over again.

on a lighter note, hahha thankyou jy for your entertainment!all the AM/DMR/NZ hahhahahah and of course not forgetting vblah hahahahaha!i think its so fun catching up on all these!thankyou for everything you've done and of course for listening to my naggy self. (: and we've managed to settle lots of things this week so yayy and a big pat on our own shoulders!(not theirs okayyy!) hahahhha okayy jy you never fail to make me laugh about all of them HAHA and yayy congrats fangus!im so proud of you! (:

Last ride on; 11:21 PM


リプレイ
歌: Plastic Tree
作詞 & 作曲: 有村竜太朗

最終便の観覧車。
君と僕が夜に浮かんでく。
星空とパノラマの街の
光と光の真ん中らへん。
右手の中にある温もりは、
いつか違う人を照らすでしよう
リズムが早くなりだす鼓動
君の名を叫ぶ心臓です。

約束交わさずに、いつかまた
逢えるなんてどんな魔法だろ?
ごめん、ありがとう、さようなら
言いたくない言葉しか出なそう。
気が遠くなるほどの未来で、
心が重くってうずくまる。
永遠によく似た10分間。
その度、思うんだろう。

廻る、廻る、二人がほら
夜に闇に光探す。
恋しい、愛しい、
想うゆえに胸がひどく苦しい。

真夜中、止まった観覧車。
忘れ物を取りに来たんだよ。
瞬間接着剤の涙。
開いた傷だってくっつけた。
あー、そうでした。俺、こんなでした。
君と会う前、自分嫌いでした。
だから胸のいちばん奥で
君の名を呼ぶんだよ。

廻る、廻る、心がまだ
夜に闇に君を探す。
恋しい、愛しい、
知らない間に消えてしまう光。

確かなものなんていらないや。
涙で悲しみを拭く。
大丈夫。それでも僕だった
何もない右の掌で、
残ってる温もりが騷いだって。

まぶた閉じた。記憶落ちた。
星が瞬く隙に歌う。
100年分の鼓動のせて
響く、声が届く。

巡る、巡る、君を想う。
ひとつ、ひとつ、忘れながら。
廻る、廻る、あの日のまま
二人、夜に浮かぶ。

あ、また同じとこ
戻ってきたら朝だよ。
赤。青。夢。嘘。色ずく空。
帰宅。始発。陽射し。窓。
きらめく世界流れた。
もう手を振らなきゃ。
サヨナラだよ。

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