The Last Ride

Sunday, March 30, 2008

yayy funorama! (: it was a fun day indeed!meeting up with friends and reliving those days back then (: met up with fang first before we went together.it was supposed to be a breakfast but turned out to be lunch cos both of us were late!haha!then went to school,met trinette and walked around first before going to help out(yes helpful me!)wanted to go haunted house so went scone cafe to look for mindy and jialing to go together but ended up stuck at the cafe, helping out the juniors cos it was simply too busy and too few ppl there!oops sorry trinette i ended up abandoning you and athena!but hope you had a great time there! (: hahah anyway scone cafe was so busy and shorthanded!i was supposed to be at the drinks area helping mindy but ended up at the ice cream place while getting the thing for the milkshake!heh and my arms ached from scooping icecream!its no joke k!i really respect all those icecream scoopers!those drama ppl selling icecream all the time etc.the ice cream were like as hard as rocks la!luckily zhixin came soon after to help out too!hahha and the brownies were so good la! (: and i realised i got a bruise at the area between my thumb and forefinger from scooping!hahah yayy then weijian and some junior came and take over towards the end and we went off trying to spend our money!but pity we couldnt go haunted house cos the queue was insanely long!thankyou ianhwee for for tickets hehh and my dear bro for helping my carry all my stuffs home! (: yayy photos photos! ((:

FANGUS! (:

trinette and athena! (:

xinyi!i keep bumping into you somehow! (:

and then we went crazy in the classroom!

the bigger-than-thigh papaya!

jialing's prized possession! (:

and we went to the scone cafe to kope free food (: the cold-dogs were really great contrary to popular belief!we totally enjoyed it so much that we had it all on our table hehh

loves (:

then had class dinner at coffee club! (: though less than half the class turned up actually.we were all so bloated cos of all the junk food and improper meals our stomachs felt so weirddd.then there was the camwhoring session which never fails to make everyone so high and alert esp vanessa and jialing!hahha it was soo funny!and vanessa was so proud that she found a new way to take photos and they all turned out quite good!but my lousy cam went out of camera so fang upload it quick!then it was getting late so we decided not to wait for the rest anymore and left coffee club soon after.the manager was like trying to chase us away by opening the doors when we walked down the stairs after going to the toilet.hehh and anywayy thankyou weijian for waiting with me and walking round hollandv! (: but it was getting late so i went vivo to look for my brother instead and on the mrt i met munching!omg i got a shock when i saw her cos she looked so different and i totally didnt expect to meet her after like so loong!hahha but she looks so pretty with her newly cut hair!and talked alot until she reminded me where to get off hahah!meetup soon okayy!omg it felt so great catching up with old friends (: okayy anywayy photos!this is like only like the tip of the iceberg cos they were such camwhores omg!

we tried the self-timer thing hehh while the manager was waiting for us before he put the food down!

smell no evil,see no evil,hear no evil, speak no evil! (look at fang's bimbo action hahhaha!)

yayy a normal smiley shot with no tinge of weirdness! (:

omg such a tiring day it made my arms ache when i woke up this morning!then went for zouk flea market with my bro(it was such a wrong decision omg!) it was like uberly crowded and we could hardly walk!or rather we were simply being pushed around!then went shopping in town while my bro went gyming, hunting down my red nike bottle but it was nowhere in sight!booo how sad but ohwell i bought 2 vintage tees yayy im so happy! ((: okayy and i want this really cool bag i saw in marina(hope they still have it!) its this hard thing with holes and seems like its joined together using rattan/sticks/whatever you call that but its so nice and unique! (: shopping next week before meeting hahahha!and after walking for so long while waiting for my dear bro,my feet was like dying omg i dont wanna move my legs at all now!

haha anyway dinner was fantastic!headed down to al-ameen and it was really super shiok!we were all bursting after eating man!had this maggie goreng thing(i bet lily would love it cos its soooo spicy!) and shared the chicken murtabak with my bro.it was like freaking huuuugeee!and must try the chicken tika masala there!its reallly ultra nice! ((: yumyum i satisfied my craving and feel so happy now!hahha and bro you better thank me for helping you carbo-load after gyming!hehh be grateful okayy! ((:

yayy and emb is well going on well i guess!except for the budget part,everything else is settled yayy! ((: thankyou bh for the appraisal and for helping us with the budget thing!and of course jy for everything!great work!im sure we'll get through man! ((:

hahha okayy this is like a super long post!and im craving for sth to eat again omg im a piggg!bahh im so not looking forward to tmr!work plus btp!omg have to finish mugging everything before the lesson tmr booo ):

Last ride on; 10:56 PM

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

i still cant erase the image of my cute little ahpo, trying to fight back those tears..it seemed to be etched in my memory and thats the only thing ive been thinking about since then. it was really a very sad scene, of her trying to hide and pretend that nothing has happened.but when no one else was around, and i asked her what happened, she totally couldnt control it anymore and started crying.ouch felt so sad for her ): though i wasnt the one who made her cry, i still felt so terrible cos i was the one who witnessed her first drop of tear and how hard she was trying to fight back.well sometimes i really think she's too harsh on her students.i think we should all be strict but there shouldnt be biasedness.its way too obvious that even i cant stand it.

and for the record, i just made this student of mine cry today.but seriously,i wasnt scolding her at all!i was just reasoning things out with her but probably i sounded too stern ): but anyway, i was so traumatised when she cried!bahhh and i thought that making this other student on the verge of tears yesterday was bad enough.but really, i guess its not the scolding that made them cry, but more of knowing their mistake and feeling guilty about it.shit but still it makes me feel so bad.okayy i shall be nice and not scold them so often now.hahha and lesser homework probably? (:

haha and something this parent said today really made my day! (:
parent: so are you still leaving?
me: yeahh im leaving after june
parent: ohno, she'll miss you so much!
hahah okayy its really parents and students like these that make all your effort worthwhile. (: that simple gesture of appreciation and trust, knowing that their kids will be in safe hands and come out even better in fact!its just so different! (:

and stupid ______!she was trying to peep at my testimonial and kept asking me why i needed one and how i got it!how annoying!noseyparker just go and mind your own business!

Last ride on; 9:21 PM

Saturday, March 22, 2008

hahaha im so happy now cos i managed to satisfy my long term craving today yayy!yumyum java chip!hahha made me so wide awake straight after drinking it!it was so heavenly and i havent felt this awake for sooo long!haha soo happy! ((: yayy!which is why i decided to do my uni applications tonight!but omg it was sooo troublesome!arghh the nus website had this timeout thing after i finished typing my 2000 words thing and now everything is gone!rarr!i was like omg wth!grrr how annoying!and i spent so much time thinking about it, trying to perfect it and now everything's gone! ): ahhhh rarrr grrrr bahhhh!anyway being the very efficient me,i wanted to get sth done tonight so i went to the ntu website and applied hoho.spent like very long thinking of what to write but luckily it has no time limit!so yayy ive settled my ntu application and now i need to get appraisals haha okayy shall go approach teachers soon.but yayy im so proud of myself for having completed one application!and having to write like 2 essays-kinda thing.woww havent used my brains for quite some time, there's this sense of satisfaction hehh ((: omg i feel like ive been slacking for all these months!haha okayy shall perservere on with my application again(hopefully) and back to watching my drama hoho!i really hate the time limit boooo help!someone stop the time!hahah and ive got work tmr omg and im like still so high hahahha!

Last ride on; 12:13 AM

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

haha okayy ive been told that my blog is too angsty lately haha anyway im so happy im out of my dilemma!haha thanks alot to my dear family! (:

haha and march holidays are gone and its back to normal school days ): my kids love zapping me for no reason and stupid vl for splashing me whenever there's a puddle!hmmm its so tiring nowadays i dunno why heh im feeling very nua.anywayy stupid xxxxxxx im so pissed rarr.the kid alone is troublesome enough and the parents keep complaining every single day.if you all are really that worried putting your stupid kid here then bring him home and teach him yourself!im so damn pissed!so using higher authority to threaten us!so what if you keep calling and get your way?dont you feel like you're imposing on us at all?if you're that worried about what i teach him and have so many comments,bring your darling little boy home and teach him then!that'll be so much better for all of us!damn pissed.some parents are just so annoying!they think that since they paid for it, they have the right to ask for anything they want!we're not your slaves stupid!

and ________ too!trying to act so angmoh all the time.she wanted to call somebody today and since i was beside the phone list,being the nice me,i looked up and recited to her the number in chinese since we were conversing in chinese seconds earlier and she said 'i dont understand (numbers in) chinese!' (cant rmb if she said the numbers thing) but still,wth!whats so high and mighty about knowing english you merely got a _ for GP also!damn pissed!how can you count yourself a chinese if you dont even know basic chinese!stop acting and faking your accent cos i know its not real!annoying!anyway i was so pissed that i slammed the file in front of her,kept the files and walked off,leaving her to check the phone number herself.damn pissed.grrr whats so bad about chinese rarr didnt you learn chinese for like 10-12 years of your education life in singapore?to think you cant even understand simple chinese?!then how are you qualified to even teach them at all?in fact,you should be ashamed of yourself, being a chinese and not knowing basic chinese.rarr im proud to say im effectively bilingual hahahha! ((:

haha okayy it was just a very pissed off day at work today im like grrr but ohwell i guess other days are pretty much okayy (: and yayy good friday is coming!haha anyway btl with fang on monday was like hahhaha!first,the food at bbdc was like ): and we had to survive on snacks!then we went into the lesson being total noobs, not knowing we have to print out that slip of paper until we finished choosing our seats and finally settled down.then had to leave the room suddenly cos of my super sharp eyes that saw the projector screen!then smart me brought the ftl book but fang kept laughing at me rarr i saved you okayy!haha and we tried to eat sneakily but failed after one attempt to do so!omg super shibai la!

hmmm then met up with zhixin joanne bushy bennett and weijian for dinner.lots of ps-ers!hahha but yeah had a really great talk with them!lots of funny stuffs haha esp the vending machine skirt and manhole thing heh.and the cj ppl were like chasing us away by suddenly giving us the bill when we didnt ask for it haha!but anyway thankyou wj for organising it! (:

thanks to my stupid brother who sent me the mcdelivery website at 12midnight,im now craving for nuggets!and my long time craving javachip ahhhh help!

Last ride on; 11:35 PM

Thursday, March 13, 2008

the cold and harsh weather makes me wanna snuggle up in my blanket, in my own comfort zone.

anyway my kids are really super cute!esp the p1 and 2 kids!haha unlike my class ppl rarr.he's just like annoying and gets on my nerves all the time!how i wish i could just pour cold water on him to make him more awake!stupid arghhhh and like he told me his sister vomited on the booklet that he's supposed to do and im supposed to mark and go through with him.like arghh how disgusting!and he knows nothing but complain about others.why cant he reflct upon himself instead of pushing the blame onto others all the time!

thats beside the point anywayy, i love the p1 and 2 kids la!they're all so small and cute! i was just sitting down and then ct came over to me and gave me a hug!so cute right!awww..really love her la that cute little one.and rach gave me a massage without me asking her to do so!she was standing behind me then kept pressing on my shoulder blades and eventually gave me a massage!hahha soo cute!and when i was waiting for my dad to come, i saw nicholas who was on the bus and he was like trying to catch my attention and waved at me frantically with that very excited look on his face!hahha super duper cute!

those innocent faces and thoughts are really the ones that make this all worthwhile. their sincerity and all really touched me. that look in their eyes and how they're always so excited when they see you. im falling in love with my job (minus the fact that there's this weird person and my rude students) hahaha it really cheers me up to just see all their innocent and carefree faces (:

so much has happened and there's only so much i can do. just read this email and this just seems so relevant. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime. ive been so overwhelmed by what has happened that im no longer hopeful. but i guess this is simply part of life. when there's no longer anything that you can do,i guess you just hope for the best.

through it all, im really thankful that i have such a wonderful family. i love you (:

Last ride on; 10:07 PM

Monday, March 10, 2008

i have troublesome kids rarr how unlucky. this is simply not my year man grr. as if one is not enough, there are like THREE rarr!

anywayy yayy nydc today hahhaha!and i was the earliest!my sandwich was supposed to be the best in singapore but ohwell it tasted normal heh.and the apple crumble was not bad too!meeting was kinda slow-paced since we didnt have much to settle but arghh im so irritated! msgs coming in at the very last minute/long after meeting has started/no response at all!it really pisses me off. im perfectly fine with it if you tell me beforehand that you cant turn up but this is really atrocious!no accountability at all and it really pisses me off when ppl make empty promises!dont say you can make it when you cant! its been like this for like EIGHT time already rarr. no normal person can stand this kinda attitude okayy!you were the one who made a promise and a commitment so you have the responsibility to carry it through!it makes me hard to believe who will turn up when they say they will all the time.im sorry if the letter sounds too harsh or anything but im seriously pissed off!i have better things to do than to cover all your duties and checking on you.arghh and you're not much better anywayy i really cant stand the part where you said you were laughing when we called and arghh okayy forget it.

arghh im confused and this is it. at the crossroads now and this means the rest of my life. which route should i take? everything seems to be falling apart....

im craving for java chip yumyum

Last ride on; 11:31 PM

Sunday, March 9, 2008

okayy shant harp too much on results.it was totally sucky but actually im really thankful as well. it made me think through carefully what i wanted in life, what suited me and what is best for me. through this, ive become stronger and i know how to manage my emotions better. im really thankful that i have such a supportive family. you guys were there to hear me whine like mad before i got my results. then never gave up on me despite knowing i screwed up and that i didnt exactly do my best for it. you all gave me advice, teaching my how to face up to my own problems and how to source for alternatives. ive learnt how to stand up stronger after experiencing setbacks. after all, this is not the end of the world. my dear mummy, thank you so much for everything. the endless support you gave me and how much you believe in me. knowing that i was terribly upset, you kept talking to me.you gave me the strength to believe in myself and gave me hopes for the future even when ive lost confidence in everything. because of you, i got to understand myself better and im able to see my future so much clearer now. thankyou.

sat
went for work and it was like rarr. okayy but my boss was rather nice, gave me advice for uni life and stuff. supposed to sign agreement hahha it sounds so ridiculous.demanding parents and annoying kids.then met trinette for smu open house.it was like bustling with activities, with dances and muay thai hahha i bet my bro would love it.then we were rushing for this admissions talk when this guy started pushing us(like really pushed!) into some siss talk which was mostly on IT stuff and we were totally clueless on what was happening so we decided to leave.it was so hard to leave cos it was such a small room and everyone knew that we sneaked off.then went for abit of admissions talk and then off to ntu open house.well those ppl were really nice,telling us lots of stuff about ntu and the diff facs on the bus.looking at how passionate they were about what they were studying felt really inspiring. then ntu open house was like omg!super crowded and we were so lost.met shuqin there and it felt so good to talk to her again after so long!it was just so comforting to talk to her and discuss about all these stressful stuffs.met amanda and pekkei there as well.hahah havent seen them for so long!then went home with like lots of stuffs from the open house, my hands were like breakinggg!

sun
went for hc with fang lily and zhixin!hahha thankyou all for accompanying me and hahha alot of funny stuffs happened hehh.like we were on the way to the school until i called dy and realised that it was at vch!dy you owe me a treat man!mygosh la!then got a shock cos everything there was like chinese!like even the ticketing booth!hahah but ohwell the play was rather nice.liked the second one most cos i found it very profound and it really applies to daily lives.the only one that i can understand what it was trying to say(much thanks to lily's interpretation!)and the guy was so sweet hahha he took off his jacket and offered it to the girl who sneezed cos it was cold hahha!and the third one got us all so pissed so the guy was such a B&MS!felt like killing him la rarr!how can he leave the bride only when they were on the ceremony day,after they've exchanged vows and fall for another one and it was a doll la!rarrr!hahha and it was super funny with us camwhoring like mad (ehh i dont ACT natural okayyy!booo sobsob) and lily's pigeon toes hahha!then the escalator thing that poked me and zx!and mos burger's chicken nuggets is so much nicer than macs!hahha ohya then the way home was the ultimate man haha i totally laughed till i had stomach ache hahha ostriches can fly omg and noble prize hahhahaha!crappy days like this are the best hahahaha.

and boo meeting tmr.sucks.they better turn up or else...

shattered dreams, dashed hopes, thwarted plans

Last ride on; 10:29 PM

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

yayy long overdue pw ice cream date today!had a great time catching up and stuff.i simply enjoyed the company ((: and all the really embarrassing moments hahah while trying to attract the waiters' attention.it felt really good to simply hang out and talk about random stuffs, catching up with one anothers' lives.worklife is really taking a toll on all these meetup sessions.i cant imagine how it would be when uni starts.growing up, it sucks. looking at those still wearing uniform, ive always wanted to go up to them and tell them to cherish their moments now.its really one of the best times ever. everyone's leaving, its getting harder and harder to meet up. if only it was school time, then everyone would still meet everyday. i miss those days.

everyone's talking about it.that feeling really sucks.i never want to go through it.had it once and i dont want it another time.this time,its really different.im prepared to be disappointed but still, there's a ray of hope,i hope.im afraid i wont be able to take it this time round.i know everyone's probably feeling this way, but they'll never understand. the expectations, the invisible pressure. its useless looking back and im sure everything happens for a reason. (: and thankyou pau&karen for your emails!it was really sweet of you all!ahhh miss you all so much!its just so different without you all! ): take lots of care alrightt!

anywayy im having a new student tmr hahah and apparently she sounds rather problematic!booo i hope,i really hope.one is definitely more than enough for me to cope with alr.

and yayy meeting with onepeople on thurs hahha hope they collaborate with us!and apparently the deputy director is meeting us too omg!blehh hope our proposal is satisfactory!and blehhh ac meeting i hope it'll be approved!

haha okayy random but yayy i managed to sell 2 tickets for funorama!hahhah thankyou ahpeh!was really surprised when you called from tekong!hahah be proud of your coconut shell!and thanks alot really! (:

Last ride on; 12:51 AM

Saturday, March 1, 2008

hmmm lots of life lessons learnt today at the cdc workshop. thought it was really fruitful and yeah learnt lots of meaningful stuffs. it touched me greatly especially when we were sharing our experiences and most of them were really experienced in volunteering, some spending half their lives volunteering!one of them had like 35years of experience alr!and it really touched me to see their passion for volunteering and still wanting to upgrade themselves. hahha compared to them, we were like spring chickens as what joe said hahhaha!and the ppl were really friendly too(besides the fact that some were pissed at the start) anywayy daniel was a really good trainer hahhahah lots of promotion for embRACE,gonna make sure they all come for it hahahha!and yayy embRACE TOO! ((: hahha omg us and our crazy ideas hahah!

anyway,hmmm it really brought to mind that there are in fact so many other perspectives that we often neglect and hence missing the main point. we're always focusing on the tip of the iceberg and not uncover what lies beneath those that we see. and its really true how ppl dont rmb the good you've done but they'll never forget the times you've screwed up. it has happened so many times and well its just reality. going through this has really made me reflect alot of how i used to chair meetings, how i should change for the better and how to make all this much more effective. but like what he said, people make up 99% of our problems and thats exactly what we're facing now blehh. it really struck me that ive never thought about the changes in the world and how i simply thought it doesnt concern me at all. all these change, making lots of difference in our daily lives and effectively affects everyone. ive never thought of how my future would be like with all these changes in place. all this while, ive been so focused on what i want to do that all this has never came across as important to me. problems wise, well ive never ever had a systematic way of solving it. i suddenly realised that everytime we meet a problem, we'll just go straight into solving it, without even identifying the root of it and labelling it specifically. ive always had the mindset that things will simply workout somehow someway.hmmm lots of lessons learnt and it was indeed an enriching session.

be a student, not a follower. its really amazing how ppl are still learning at the age of 68, and still as enthusiastic. ohwell impossible only exists in the dictionary of fools hhaha how motivating. (:

i was indeed inspired by this session. one of the most enriching workshops ive ever attended, bringing to my attention so many things ive neglected in my course of life, in organising this proj and stuffs. focusing on one topic so hard often makes you stifled. so many ideas were given to us regarding embRACE and many of which were ideas so simple but we've been too focused that we lose sight of so many things.nvm there shall be embRACE TOO! ((: hhaha and yayy they were all supportive of our idea hohho we were totally forcing them to come hahha!and the ppl were really nice and friendly haha and we ate damn alot omg we were like bursting after the workshop!breakfast at 10am then lunch at 1pm to 2pm and then teabreak at 3pm omg!and sweets/snacks throughout the workshop it was totally a pigging out session!

hahha then met fang zhixin lily raymond and ian hwee for dinner hhaha at nydc omg!and i was craving for that during lunch just now hehh.fang totally read my mind!but pity i was too full but still, the ugly cake was nice!hot fudge cake topped with vanilla icecream yayy!haha it was good!then headed to coffee bean where we started talking about ghost stories and freaking ourselves out rarr. super scary blehh.and i dont wanna sit at the corridor there all you pokes!bahhh anywayy was really fun talking and simply catching up.work life is like arghhh haha greeat time for grumblingg about _____ hahha booo and all of you should support singapore production! the leap years!
arghh i cant be bothered with this anymore im so irritated.it wasnt my fault in the first place but since you insisted,there's nothing i can do anyway.arghhhhh be pissed for all you want.

Last ride on; 11:40 PM